MOVING ON…MOVING FORWARD

It’s been 6 months.

There’s something about taking your time and wallowing in pain and ease it out everyday as if nothing happened.  You learn to throw your chances in the wind; every day is a struggle to look okay, to be calmer, happier and conceal what’s there to conceal. Until one day, you’d wake up and everything is NORMAL. You’re back to square one, and you let the day flow and goes by with that normality.

It took me six months to get over that grey world I’ve found myself surrounding me.  Everyday for those months, I ached in pain, I cried inside, I was tormented by that self-pity, the self-loathing, self-degrading truth.  I was back to being abandoned. I was back to being confused as to the whys and hows and even to the self-amusing’s “I told you so” stages.  I was like a ball rolling endlessly without direction.  That was me inside. That was six months of self-torturing.  I did not grieve.  Why should I, why would I, when I wasn’t sure what really happened.  I just woke up one day and I was alone again…Naturally.

My 2 previous blogs, were made out of happy truth, happy emotions and happiness was really there, but like most good stories, it had to come to an end.  I was contemplating on starting a new site, revamp this entire blog site of mine and just deal with the NOW… but I realize to move away from it is a lie. I will not delete the previous blogs because it was the proof that I had it happy before, that for once in my life, I was loved, I was able to share myself to someone without conditions, that was the happy me. That was the happy US.  That was THEN. This is NOW.  A continuation of my life.  It should make me better not BITTER.

Today, the sun shines bright.  As I inch my way to getting out of the dumps I sulked myself in for months, I am ready to move on and move forward.  Life has its ups and downs, mine might have leaned to more on the downs but I am a firm believer that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

I am back to typing my thoughts again.

I am ready to explore life once again.

Life is a continuous growth.  It does not stop because of one pain.  It does not stay unchanged.  Time to get up…Move on and Move Forward with every step full of hope.  Let life takes you to your journey whatever happens, MOVE!

Your Highness,

Lee M.

“My heart might be bruised, but it will recover and become capable of seeing the beauty of life once more. It’s happened before, it will happen again, I’m sure. When someone leaves, it’s because someone else is about to arrive – I’ll find love again.”
Paulo Coelho

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Longwood Gardens… a beauty!

IMG_4668Another road trip day.

It’s May 23, 2017. Like always, NJ with its unpredictable weather woke me up not knowing if it will be cold, raining or burning hot like summer that morning. T said we’re going on another road trip. I like going on a road trip, it relaxes my nerves to see different places while aboard his car. When he said we’re going to Pennsylvania, I was thrilled. If Jim Thorpe is known as the “Switzerland of America”, Kennette Square is known as the “mushroom capital of the world.” It is where its famous Longwood Gardens can be found. The Longwood Gardens display over a thousand acres of beautiful, strikingly presented grounds, woods and meadows with different arrays of foliage, flora, and fauna.

Armed with just our reliable phone cameras, it was a delight to experience nature at its best. The Longwood Gardens exudes that feeling of being one with the nature after a very long and tiring day from the city life. Big trees, thousands of flowers beautifully manicured lawns, meadows that seemingly urging you to explore its greens and be once again cradled to its magnificent charm.  My words are not enough to describe its perfection; nothing but pure beauty.

I wouldn’t mind getting lost here; if getting lost here will mean finding me in the process.

Was it worth the trip? If my sleeping thru the entire journey back to NJ is the answer; Yes. I was dead tired exploring the beauty of it and I felt like I haven’t fully recovered. I jokingly told T to just leave me there or we’d build a house and just stay there forever. It’s a joke, alright. But jokes are half meant as we know it. He can’t leave me there nor stay there forever so he took these nice photos that will stay with me for as long as my mind can remember and memories won’t forget.

I used to have the nicest garden, every day I would stare at it while sipping my morning coffee, realizing it may not last forever, I may lose it in one go. So I stared at it lovingly each time and one day, I was left without a choice but to let go. My heart longs to have it back, so imagine how my heart jumped for joy seeing The Longwood Gardens. I am home again…even just for a while.

“The garden has taught me to live, to appreciate the times when things are fallow and when they are not”.

– Jamaica Kincaid

 

Your Highness,

Lee

#spring2017

#ThelongwoodgardensPA

Thank you to T.Roberts for capturing the beauty of the Longwood Gardens. Like always, superb shots.

 

 

 

 

 

Quaint yet mystical Jim Thorpe

IMG_0723

 

“Are you ready for a wild and crazy, adventure?”

T asked me that question. I was tired from all that wild and crazy adventures we took since we arrived there in NJ. But it’s that kind of tiredness that would put a smile on your face after. Spring 2017. They said it’s the nicest weather, but weather in NJ is really unpredictable, we’d sleep in a sweaty night and wake up to a very chilly morning or it would be raining in the middle of the day and will suddenly be so sunny by 4pm. Weird. Coming from a tropical country, Philippines, where all year long you won’t really get to experience “cold” weather, anything that goes below 20 deg celsius for me is cold. So imagine waking up to a 15 deg or 11 deg during spring and taking a walk under the bursting heat of 40 deg? It’s super tiring, like i’m bloody confused.

So anyways, I looked at T as I was fastening my seatbelt. In my head I was asking him, where is it going to be this time? but honestly, I was excited and always looking forward enjoying the joy ride with him. Hell, we never get to have that on a daily, weekly, monthly basis… I don’t even know if we’ll be able to do that on a yearly basis so yeah I looked forward to every trip we make. So I smiled at him and muttered to myself “Here we go, let’s do this”.

It was a perfect sweater- weather morning and after almost 2 hours from NJ we reached the little quaint yet majestic town of Jim Thorpe. It’s approximately 1.5 hours away from Philadelphia, 2 hours away from NYC and less that 3 hours from Baltimore, this historic town of Jim Thorpe is located Northeastern part of Pennsylvania. This victorian town is teeming with history, It’s like I was transported to a place one would only see in movies, colorful yet rustic, enchanting like an old movie. I am fascinated by its colorful and magnificent stores, buildings, museums, restaurants and houses. The town is too little that you can just walk through all its alleys and corridors and still lead you to the town’s tourist information place. If there’s ever any famous fastfood chains like mcdonalds, burger king or even KFC anywhere at that place, it’s unnoticeable. It is dubbed as the “Switzerland of America” as evident to its steep hillsides, narrow streets and terrace gardens. It was formerly known as Mauch Chuk which means “Bear Mountain” derived from a Leni Lenape Indian name.  I think people go there to experience old delicacies, the old school kind of pubs and bars, and diners; purchase good souvenirs like stones, gems, jewelry and even boho clothings and other eclectic stuff. The place is like a haven for people who loves new age and the likes. I could feel the place embracing me and that sense of belongingness is there.

Before reaching Jim Thorpe, you’ll pass through towns on the hills, fields and one that’s so eerie looking like a “dead” town. It’s like you never wanna get stuck there or be lost at night that kind of scary feeling you get watching those movies or even the series “Walking-dead”, yes that kind of goose bumps moment.

We passed by kids getting off from their school buses and walking few meters away to their houses, run down old houses, typical suburban or countryside houses; red barns. 1, 2, 3,…and more red barns, left and right. Antique shops, barns, antique shops and yes…more barns. T who loves red barns couldn’t enjoy it fully as I was just pointing them while his eyes is focused on the road and all he could say was “darn, I missed it.” Yes, I pity him for not being able to have that “Nat-geo-instagrammable pix”.

On our way back, I zonked out and opened my eyes to the bumper to bumper traffic on that route heading back to Englewood. I guess we were crazy to be driving that far just to check on that oh little town of Jim Thorpe, but yes it was an adventure I won’t say No to because it was worth it…every adventure is worth it coz I get to spend it with the two people I love in this world. One infront of the steering wheel and the other one slumped dead tired at the back.

Jim Thorpe, I’ll be back to explore you more …one day.

 

The pictures didn’t do justice by the way.

 

 

 

 

 ” The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.”

– St. Augustine

 

Your highness,

Lee

#spring2017